Don Hamachek aşağılık kompleksi ile ilgili 7 noktaya dikkat çekiyor.
Özgüvenin karşıtı olan özgüven eksikliği ise genellikle aşağılık kompleksi olarak tanımlanır. Özgüven hakkında çok önemli bir kitap yazan psikolog Don Hamachek aşağılık kompleksi ile ilgili 7 noktaya dikkat çekiyor.
1. Eleştiriye karşı alıngan olmak
Aşağılık duygusuna kapılan insanlar hata yaptıklarını bilseler de diğer insanların bunu vurgulamaları hoşlarına gitmez. Ne kadar yapıcı ya da naif olursa olsun her eleştiriyi kişisel bir saldırı olarak algılarlar.
2. Özgüvene uygunsuz cevap verme
Bu iki şekilde olur. Bazı insanlar kendileri hakkında iyi şeyler duymak için can atarlar ve sürekli iltifat edilmesinden hoşlanırlar. Diğer davranış biçimi ise tam tersidir. Özgüven eksikliği çeken bir grup insan ise kendileri hakkında pozitif bir şey duymak istemezler çünkü kendi hissettikleriyle çelişirler.
3. Aşırı eleştirel yaklaşım
Kendilerini iyi hissetmeyen kişiler başkaları hakkında iyi şeyler düşünmezler. İnsanların kusur ve hatalarını ararlar. Böylece kendilerinin çok kötü olmadığını kanıtlamaya çalışırlar. Bu insanlar çevredeki en akıllı, çekici, başarılı insan olmadıkları zaman akıllı, çekici, başarılı hissetmezler.
4. Suçlama eğilimi
Bazı insanlar aşağılık hissetmenin acısından kurtulmak için kendi güçsüzlüklerini diğer insanlara yüklemeye çalışırlar. Bu noktada kendi hataları için başkalarını suçlarlar.
5. İşkence isteği
Özgüvensizlik doruk noktasındayken başkasına zarar vermeye kadar varabilir. Başkalarını suçlama davranışı kontrol edilemez bir duruma ulaşabilir.
6. Rekabetle ilgili negatif hisler
Aşağılık kompleksi olan insanlar da herkes gibi bir oyunu ya da yarışmayı kazanmak ister ama böyle durumlardan kaçınırlar çünkü kazanamayacaklarını düşünürler. Birinci gelememe korkusu tamamen başarısız oldukları korkusuna kapılmalarına neden olur.
7. Yalnızlık ve çekingenlik eğilimi
Aşağılık duygusu olan insanlar diğer insanlar kadar zeki ve ilginç olmadıklarını düşündüklerinden diğer insanların da onları böyle göreceğini düşünürler. Bu yüzden sosyal ortamlardan kaçınırlar. İnsanlarla birlikteyken susmayı tercih ederler çünkü bunun yalnızca aptallıklarını ya da sıkıcılıklarını kanıtlayacağını düşünürler.
Filed under: KADINLARA ÖZEL | Tagged: özgüven eksikliği, eleştiri, Kadınlar ne ister, kadınlarda özgüven tazeleme, olumlu eleştiriler |
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